10 Hilarious Things Only Students In Private Universities Can Relate With
There is always at least one peculiar characteristic amongst private universities that students can always relate to.
1. Expulsion & suspension is a heart beat away
This is almost every private university student’s nightmare and greatest fear. When someone annoys you so much and all you want to do is to punch the person in the face and the next thing you hear is oh boy! You wan go house? Steal ordinary Indomie and you go home.
You will hear things like “sister or brother, please its time to go to your hostel”. Curfew is a major constraint in most private universities and in your mind you are just like ooo ooo, what’s the meaning of this rubbish? You go begin they doubt your age and if you are in a secondary school.
3. Restrictions on dressing
In terms of dressing I think CU students enjoy the most but you see Bowen and Babcock university students, they have suffered (chai). No trousers, knee-length or below the knee skirts, no sleeveless tops, no jeans. You start to ask yourself who you offended and if it’s more than education you went there for.
4. New rules rain on you like it’s a tsunami
Those annoying new rules that just pop out of nowhere, you will just suddenly hear things like long hair is not allowed, no more cooking of indomie, make-up isn’t allowed, church is now everyday of the week, keeping afro isn’t allowed, etc.All these rules that will automatically make you weak.
5. Indomie becomes your best food
From my knowledge and observation, private university students consume a large quantity of Indomie compared to students in other universities. Some private universities don’t even allow Indomie or allow cooking, so students had to be creative and start cooking in electric kettles and microwaves. The struggle is real.
This is the best part of going to a private university, they can scam for Africa. They are either adding money to their fees, lying about a textbook they need to buy or a professional course they need to pay for. Learning how to scam is one of the essential starter pack for a private university student.
7. Stabbing worship sessions
Private universities can like to overdo with their worship sessions, some of the schools compel the students to go Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday and twice on Saturday (Ahan, kilode? you wan kill person). Students however, find a way to miss worship sessions, its more of a “I cant come and die situation”.
8. Leaving school for weekend “turn ups”
What is scamming without turn-ups in-between semesters? I attended a private university so I know how these things work. Some people even borrow money just to go and “jaiye” in Lagos and you don’t want to know the planning process that goes into these weekends. Some students are regular customers at Quilox, 57, SIP and so on.
9. Opposite sex loitering
This is almost a taboo and the funny thing is when you ask the people who come up with these absurd rules where they met their husband or wife, they will say in university, please let us meet our own husbands and wives too. You can’t hold hands, you can’t kiss or cuddle, body no be firewood now.
10. Annoying Waking up to very annoying and unnecessary announcements could literally destabilize you for the whole day. All the very loud morning devotions and repetitive announcements can be frustrating.